Definition of Family
by Desertfyre
Summary: Tag to 6.14: M3TR. An extended conversation. The definition of family is different for Dean vs. LisaBen. The definition of family is different for hunters vs. normal people. The two worlds may not be able to exist together, but that's okay...isn't it?


Disclaimer: I don't own the Winchester brothers and I don't even want to own Lisa and Ben even if they were offered, thanks. That honor belongs to Kripke and Sera and all them.

A.N: This idea just hit me earlier. I did enjoy this episode and was happy that it seemed like we officially said goodbye to Lisa and Ben. Now I did not mind them, until they each opened their big mouths. I was okay with them off-screen and not heard from, but now after each of them saying certain things to Dean, I don't even know if I like them off- screen anymore.

In particular when Ben said that Dean was running out on "family". Maybe I'm bias and love the brothers but that rubbed me the wrong way. I felt like slapping the guy….and Lisa I felt like slapping in the truth episode. Also, it bothered me that neither Lisa nor Ben seemed to remember anything about Sam during all this. They seemed to accept Dean, but not Sam who is Dean's family as well.

So this tag was born cause chances are Dean is going to be back to being the Dean we all know and love next episode (Hurrah!) and I wanted to see him get over this hump that LisaBen unknowingly left him with at the end of the episode. I didn't like that they put him in the middle like that, and this is my chance to rectify it. They can't show everything in the show so that's what fanfiction is for. ^_^

PS-I tried to write this as how each brother would respond to all of this, but forgive me if my personal opinions on a certain mother and son comes out in this.

Summary: Tag to 6.14: Mannequin 3: The Reckoning. An extended conversation between the brothers at the end of the episode. The definition of family is different for Dean vs. Lisa and Ben. The definition of family is different for hunters vs. normal people. The two worlds may not be able to exist together, but that's okay...isn't it?

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Sam glanced at Dean as the silence lingered. They were standing around somewhat awkward, or maybe it was just him. He knew that Dean was understandable upset about Lisa and Ben. He knew that his older brother loved them.

Sam glanced around the junkyard, slowly turning his back to Dean as Dean started back under the hood. He took a sip of his beer, thinking.

That is never a good thing when he thinks and analyze.

Sam bit his lip. He knew that Dean was happy that he said that he had Dean's back. He could see the brief lighting of his older brother's eyes. It warmed him that Dean seemed to believe him, especially given his past conduct. It made him happy and relieved that Dean seemed to accept those words from him again. He vowed never to lose that trust again.

And yet….

Sam glanced over his shoulder.

It was bothering him.

He had to ask, to know once and for all.

Whatever the consequences.

He would do whatever necessary if it meant his brother's happiness.

Whatever price that would cost to him, he would pay it.

Sam looked back at the junkyard, his eyes roaming around, finding that he was too much of a coward to watch the emotions play on Dean's face when he asked. He took a sip of his beer to steady his nerves before asking.

"You regret it?"

Sam was surprised at the steadiness, the casualness, of his voice. He heard all sounds stop behind him and heard the wariness in his brother's voice, "Regret what?"

Here Sam swallowed, willing himself to find his voice, "Do you…do you regret getting me back?"

He heard a clatter followed by a vehement, "NO!" It made Sam jump and swing around to face his brother who in his shock had dropped his tool on the floor and had squatted down to pick it up, yet all the while Dean's eyes was on him.

Dean straightened to his full height, looking at Sam still shocked, "Sam, where is this coming from?"

Sam shrugged and took a sip, for all the world looking like they were discussing the weather.

"Sam!" Dean snapped.

Sam sighed the answered, shifting as he did so, "It's just…when I was soulless, I came and dragged you away from Lisa and Ben, right? And I know you care a lot about them. You love them, whether you'll admit it to me or not. I just…..wanted to know if you hate me for doing that. For dragging you away. You deserved them. I can understand if you regret it, feeling you were forced to go 'rescuing' me again, and giving up your happiness", Here Sam laughed bitterly, "You were living an apple pie life, finally happy and free and…."

"I was not happy, Sam!" Dean growled cutting Sam off, "I was never happy! You were in hell, Sam, hell! My little brother was in hell with Lucifer and Michael, suffering. I went to Lisa because I promised you; I tried to live an apple pie life, and granted I got really attached to them, but I would never regret saving you. Ever. It never crossed my mind. Why would you even think such a thing?"

Sam studied his brother for a moment, noting that Dean was doing the same thing to him.

Finally he spoke, his voice soft, "I know they were your family, Dean."

That slapped Dean in the face.

_You're a liar Dean. You say family's so important, but you push away the people that love you and care about you even when you're a dick. You know you are walking out on your family, right? _

He couldn't believe that Ben had hauled off and said such a thing to him. He was hurt when those words came out and later and now he is slightly pissed that Ben would presume to say such a thing to him.

"Dean, you okay?"

Dean blinked and realized that Sam had taken a step closer and was frowning in concern. He then noticed that he himself had been scowling.

"You know it amazes me, that everyone forgets about you in this equation." He bit out.

Sam did a double take, "Pardon?" He couldn't help his voice wavering as he took what Dean said and was running off with it.

Dean realized what he said and shook his head, his face relaxing, "No, I don't mean it like I said it."

Sam was cautious as he cocked his head slightly, "Then what do you mean?"

"It's funny you should call them my family", Dean gave a bitter chuckle.

Sam was silent as he had no idea where Dean was going with this.

Dean continued, "Ben….he uh…..said something to me."

"What was that?"

"He called me a dick and a liar." Dean stared and he saw the fire igniting in Sam's eyes as his mouth thinned and his eyebrow twitched once. Dean found himself happy that Sam would jump to his defense like that. Amazingly though, Sam didn't jump the gun…..yet. So Dean continued, lowering his glaze to fiddle with his tool, "Ben said, that I say family is so important and I'm running out on them…..my family."

He chanced a glance at Sam whose mouth was still pressed together and his nose was flaring. Sam himself was seething at Ben (and Lisa probably is where Ben got the growing attitude from if Sam had to guess) for making Dean have these doubts. Now, he could understand why his brother was slowly shutting down right now.

Way too many complications for him to deal with right now.

Sam swallowed and made himself take another sip of his beer as he looked everywhere but Dean. He didn't want to complicate Dean's life anymore than what it was already. So Sam would give his brother that choice, even if it cost him. Sam drew in a breath, steeling himself to do what his heart was telling him.

He turned back to face Dean squarely, who was sipping his own beer.

"You should go back to them."

Sam found himself having to slap Dean on the back as he choked on his beer. Dean wiped his mouth, setting his beer down on the work bench, and eyed him for the second time in shock. "What?" he asked.

"You should go back." Sam repeated.

"Are you are nuts?" Dean cried.

Sam gave a patient sigh, "Dean, they are your family and obviously you miss them. You got my soul back, you don't owe me anything more. You've done more than enough in your life, you deserve happiness. Go back and build a family, make it right."

"See!" Dean cried near jumping in the air, "That's exactly what I'm talking about right there! No one seems to be thinking about you in this! You're not even thinking about you. What about you?"

Sam was confused, "What about me, what, Dean?"

"You are my family! You're my little brother."

"Well, we all know that" Sam stated wryly.

Dean drew a deep breath trying to calm himself, before he spoke, "Of all times, we need to stick together, this is it! You got the great wall of Sam, remember? You don't even need to be hunting, but since you are, I'm going to be there and keep an eye on you, like I've always done. We are in this together, right? I mean, a few moment ago you said you had my back."

"And I do! Definitely." Sam reaffirmed with a strong nod. He noted another bout of relief in Dean's eyes.

"Then why are you trying so hard to leave. It's like you want me to leave." Dean spoke his voice getting quieter as he continued.

Sam shook his head violently, "No, Dean, no." He shook his head again. "I don't want to leave. I don't even want you to leave me. It's not about that. It's not about leaving one another."

"Then why are we having this conversation?" asked Dean confused.

"I'm not blind. I can see you are conflicted."

Dean did a double take and eyed Sam warily. He sensed the psychologist in Sam coming out, "I am?"

Sam gave Dean a pointed look, "Of course. I can see it! You are conflicted about which of us you should choose."

"Whoa! Hold up!" Dean cut in his voice raising, "You're kidding right?"

"See! You're avoiding the issue!"

"I'm not avoiding the issue."

Sam snapped, slamming his bottle on the nearby work bench, "I'm not gonna let you stick around and be unhappy. I won't let you be unhappy with me, Dean."

That made Dean do a double taking remembering:

_Yeah, but I didn't expect Sam to come back. And I'm glad he's okay, I am, but the minute he walked through that door, I knew it was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled up, crazy thing that I've ever seen, and as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy._

"Dean, what?" Sam his voice gentling, as noticed that Dean checked out again.

Dean sighed and gave another bitter chuckle shaking his head, "You keep saying things that parallel what Lisa and Ben said."

Sam's mouth pressed together, "Who said what now?"

It was a moment before Dean answered, "Funny enough even Lisa said I'd never been happy with you in my life."

Sam reeled back. He tried to keep his face from cracking as well as his voice, "Well…..that settles that." He murmured before turning around and walking away.

"Hey!" Dean cried throwing his tool on the work bench, chasing after him. He grabbed the younger male's arm. "Sam!"

Sam pushed him back glaring at him, "See, even others see it. You aren't happy with me Dean and why should you be? I'm screw-up 85% of the time."

"Sam, you just got through telling me that we, which means you as well, weren't messed up."

"Well, sometimes, I'm not, but most of the time I am. Don't you see? You have a chance to walk away, just like I did. Take it! Go back!"

"And leave you alone?"

"No less that I deserve", Sam snorted.

Dean darted in front of Sam pushing at his chest to stop him from walking away. "Listen to me Sam! I'm not happy when you aren't around, do you get that? Listen to me!"

Sam stopped trying to go around Dean and glared at him, with glassy eyes.

"Yeah, sometimes, I wish I could have a normal life and after a year with Lisa and Ben, getting a taste, I finally understand your obsession you had when we were younger to get out. I understand and respect that a heck of a lot better now. I do. "

Sam shifted but didn't say anything and Dean pressed on, "But I'm not cut out for normal life. I wasn't happy. Many nights I laid awake wondering about you, trying to think of a way to get you back. I knew I couldn't, so I settled. I settled, for half a second, Sam. But then you came back and I was so happy to see you. I tried to make it work with Lisa and Ben, but you know what, it won't work."

"It could, if you cut ties with me."

"HECK, NO!" Dean screamed making Sam's eyes widen as Dean shifted. "No", he said quieter but with no less conviction, "No, I'm not cutting ties with you. Not now, not ever. We've been through too much."

"But just think about it, Dean." Sam's eyes shined as if it was a simple idea to be executed, "If you did, you can finally have what we've been wanting our whole lives. For me, it's a lost cause now. I don't even want much of a normal life anymore, but you can. And that's okay. It's okay."

Dean stared at Sam, not believing that Sam thought it was that simple. That Sam thought he was worth so little. He'd never get that trait in Sam.

"No, Sam, it's not okay. A thousand times over no. One reason it wouldn't work with them, one reason it didn't work is because I can't sit at their dinner table knowing who and what I am. I'm not that kind of family man. I had a 9-4 job, a construction job that bored me to death, Sam! I wasn't happy! I was never happy! Sure I care a lot about Lisa and Ben and wish it could have worked somehow but it won't. I get that now. Life sucks sometimes and hunter's lives suck more than normal lives. So guess what, we will suck together. "

But Sam was persistent, "You can still choose, Dean. You can still choose them over me." He stated quietly, "You don't want to say it like that, but you can. I'm giving you that choice Dean. I know a part of you regrets me messing up your equilibrium, but you can go. I release you."

Dean glared, "Sam, I do not regret saving you. Never, can you please get that through your big head? And you can't just release me! I'm your older brother, we are stuck together, thank you, like Siamese twins."

Sam's mouth twitched, "Its conjoined twins, Dean."

"Whatever man, same thing." Dean shrugged then paused a moment, "See that's what I'm not getting. What I don't understand in all of this." he said.

"What aren't you getting?" Sam looked confused as he tried to follow.

Dean looked thoughtful, "Lisa and Ben didn't seem to see that you are my family. They never, ever tried to integrate you into the so called family when you came back. They were wary of you, always. And then even though we were dealing with that truth goddess, Lisa hauls off and says such a thing. The fact that she said it, said it was in her somewhere and the truth goddess made it come out. That is what she felt about you. And then Ben got mad and said what he said. I mean, it doesn't sit right with me that, both of them seem to disregard you. I would assume that even if you don't like a family member of the person you like, you would still accept them in some way because that's the person you like...family." Here Dean stumbled blinking over his own words.

Sam gave Dean an amused smile.

It took a moment for Dean to come back from his stumble. He rolled his eyes, "You know what I mean. They never tried to get to know you."

"I was soulless at the time, Dean. I wouldn't want to have gotten to know me either. I would have been wary. Besides, they liked you, they didn't have to like me."

"That's moot point cause I even didn't know you was soulless at the time, and that's not the point. It doesn't matter if they didn't like you, they should respect you and the fact that you are my family and my little brother. But they didn't even seem like they did. I dunno, that's what it came off to me as as I look back and think about it. Look, I know we have an unhealthy, tangled up, crazy thing, as Lisa said, but that's us. That's the hand we were dealt. That's the hand we've had to play our whole lives. Normal people don't understand that. Hunters have a better chance of understanding that. I mean when you are fighting for survival, you become tight knit. That's just the way it is."

Here Sam made a affirmative noise, agreeing with Dean.

"But bottom line is this: Lisa and Ben's version of family is different than our version."

"Do you blame them?", Sam asked then offered, "Yet still, you can go back. I won't hold it against you."

"No, I can't, Sam", Dean's mouth pressed together, "And honestly, if it means leaving you, I don't want to. We've been through waaaaay too much. I enjoyed what it was and I will miss them, sure. But I would never turn my back on you…." He raised his hand when Sam would have said something, "No, it would be turning my back on you. And you need me more than ever right now. I don't ever regret saving you. Not now, not when I made the deal long ago, and not the other countless other times I save your sorry behind from sudden death and the countless times I will save your sorry behind now." At this Dean smirked hoping that Sam took the bait.

Sam laughed once, "Sure, you'd like to think so, but don't forget I saved your sorry behind before as well."

Dean's smirk changed to a grin, "Great, we save each others behind." Then he sobered and said quietly, "We both have seen how we are when we are alone, that doesn't work to well does it?" He also remembered the trip to the future that he took, a seeming a long time ago and when Sam died, a seemingly longer time than that.

Reluctantly, Sam shook his head solemnly, "No, it doesn't." He remembered what lead him to being Lucifer's vessel in the first place. Dean's death hit him hard and he turned to the only thing he felt he could at the time.

No, the two of them alone was never and would never be a good thing.

And frankly, why should that be a bad thing?

Maybe fate got that one right. Fate knew that they wouldn't survive well without the other, so maybe it gave them each other because of that. The thought of Sam never have had a Dean for a big brother, didn't sit right with him.

They were kinda like yin-yang, they balanced each other.

Sam smiled lightly at his thoughts.

No, definitely isn't a bad thing.

"Whatcha you're thinking about, Sammy?" a small smile graced Dean's face.

"Just thinking, it's not a bad thing that we are Siamese twins", Sam smirked, his eyes twinkling.

Dean hit Sam's arm, his voice mocking. "It's conjoined, Sam."

"So it is."

There was a brief silence before Dean added, "And you know what, if that's wrong, if it's wrong to be 'conjoined'…." Here he did air quotes, "then I don't want to be right. That may be wrong in the "real world" but not our world. Not the hunter world. In the hunter world you always stick with what is dealt to you, good or bad. Our definition of family, to the real world, doesn't seem to leave room to breathe. They can go their separate ways and not be bothered by it, but we can't. And I'm okay with that. It's too late to change and now I wouldn't want to. Wouldn't know how."

"Me neither", Sam added.

"And besides we happened to be dealt some good things as well, wouldn't you say?" Dean winked, "I mean you got a gorgeous older brother than taught you lots of things about the opposite sex. You should thank me."

Sam snorted and laughed, "Yeah, sure" his voice was sarcastic then he said sincerely, "But definitely."

"Thanks I thought I'm definitely gorgeous as well." Dean coolly looked off to the side, striking a pose.

Sam hit Dean on the shoulder. "I meant that we were dealt some good things, not that you are gorgeous."

Dean frowned, "What you don't think so?"

"Shut up, Dean."

Dean laughed once, "Yeah, well, now we fight to keep that until we are at least 80 something and have lived a full life, like Bobby you know. Then we can croak."

Sam laughed at this. "Yeah, definitely."

"So, no trying to skip town on me?" Dean asked with a small chuckle.

Sam smiled softly hearing Dean's worry, "Agreed."

Dean nodded and they lapsed into silence for a bit. He cleared his throat, "And um, thanks."

Sam focused his glaze back to him and raised an eyebrow, "For?"

Dean rocked his head back and forth a couple of times, "Hmm...just for being you."

And Sam understood all that was said behind that and more.

**Fin.**

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A.N: Thanks for reading! Hope you all enjoyed!

Funny after thought: Originally, this story was going to be named 'Regret, Regret-me-nots' but since the theme was the definition of family, that's how that became the title. Just thought I'd shared that, cause I thought the first title was cute.


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